Meet the man

Yup, that's him. We're going to bed now, goodnight.

yup

Thumbs up

I had another great day today, I'm loving this run of overall goodness. Don't get me wrong there are irritations along the way, but all-in-all great days :)

I'm still amazed, really, at how a quick pop-in from my favorite guy changes my whole day for the better. Lucky me, I got a pop-in today and Mike, his mother and I went to Jewel of India for lunch; great food and great company, I look forward to doing it again.

I'm not fit for a photograph today, between the rain and the nap I took earlier, believe me, it's better this way. I'll come up with something though, I'm sure ;) I'm going to take a break here, I just wanted to start todays entry while my soldering iron heats up.. it's ready.......

...... I forget how much it hurts my feet and back to stand at the work bench for hours like that, oh well.. I'm out of energy and words.

yup, that's all you get
here's to another great day tomorrow ;)

Tiny trinkets

It was great to get out and have lunch with a couple buddies and my favorite guy today; great food, great company and I got the best fortune cookie ever! No, I won't tell you what it said.. If I tell you I'll have to kill you :) I am going to make a tiny frame for it though, haha, it's going to be significant someday... I think.

and stuff... 

Got a time machine?

Today was a much better day than yesterday. However, I find it hard to un-think a thought sometimes so there's still a bit of a tarnished spot on my brain. I've been told I have a dirty mind before so I'm sure it will just blend in with the rest of the rough spots ;)

I'm just me. Just JESS damnit.
photo by Mike McCormack (he does okay, haha)

Wording the wordless

I'm not sure exactly how I feel today. Numb maybe. I got the kids off to school this morning, took care of my photo for the day and went back to bed; aside from a few text messages I slept until noon. I would be happy to have slept right through until tomorrow morning for the specific purpose of hiding from my own brain; but that isn't very realistic. So I'll just be.. I'll be awake and wait.

my twin and I, we're both tired

Shhh

Why is it when I clean one thing I end up dirtying another?
Why can't I stop thinking about what will happen next, how it will happen, when it will happen?
There is magic happening behind the scenes and I need to quiet my brain :)

what's up with that? ;)

A yummy day

Today was pretty great.

The kids made us breakfast, it was yummy, I would have liked to sleep a bit longer though ;) 

I took the kids and the camera out for a few hours, I love doing that, it's like therapy, feels great. http://www.flickr.com/photos/jess-jollotta/ 

Had some yummy greek pizza from Alex Pizza for lunch, good stuff!

Went to have a nice visit with my favorite guy then took myself out for ice cream.

Now I'm tired; goodnight. 

oranges are yummy :)

Just relax

Today has been a strange day; I'll be glad to get comfortable tonight and relax.

I don't think I can keep this up for another 300+ days

To the bat cave!

Today started out great, the way I wish all my days would begin. Needless to say, my day changed quite a bit from this morning.. thank goodness for Indian food or I might have turned into a raging lunatic ;) Thanks for joining me for lunch Em! Love ya!

It's time for a touch of lazy, a short sentence of hermit-itus is in order

I just want to sleeeeeep

Pulling heaven down

Today the words aren't even mine


"somewhere far away from here
i saw stars, stars that i could reach
it was a midnight silent twilight 
that fell down... beyond the ocean beach

i assemble all the sand that cover wedding beaches
to build a castle so your mom would have a place to stay
behind the waterslide and down the hill where heaven 
reaches land and time is left to float away

so rest assured i have the key to every opening
to every wishing well that's deep enough to dream
i want to show you just how fascinating kissing is
when earth collides with all the space between

i'm reaching farther than i ever have before
leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
i may be some sort of crazy
we may be some sort of crazy
but i swear on everything i have and more

so never look behind you spooky people bring you down
the world is ending... there's a party by the bay
i'll wear my suit and tie we're eye to eye and toasting to 
the way you put that smile upon my face

fill up the air balloon and ride with me
when hell is jealous of the rain
make love like time and space is ending while befriending
fates alluring way of putting us to shame

i'm reaching farther than i ever have before
leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
i may be some sort of crazy
we may be some sort of crazy
but i swear on everything i have and more...

that you make the sound of pulling heaven down
you brought the rain's romantic pour
you make the sound... you make the sound
of pulling heaven down"


Blue October
Sound Of Pulling Heaven Down


Okay, so that might have been a little lazy on my part, but I love this song and today it makes me smile :)

"the point of the journey is not to arrive"
photo and caption by Mike McCormack

Blah-ba-de-blah-blah

I wrote for HOURS today, and no, I won't be posting it... Maybe some other time :)

Now I don't feel like writing here, not. at. all.

The plan for the evening? Get into bed as soon as possible and watch movies until I can't keep my eyes open. What are you doing tonight?

thinking about snuggling... good thing I have lots of pillows

Beautiful pause

If I could make time stand still, I'd invite you to be part of an endless moment.

yes you! who the heck did you think I was talking to? ;)

20 minutes

It's been a fairly busy day,  I suppose... okay, so it wasn't that busy, but I did accomplish something. 

I took some more photos for AOK Herbals and things are coming along very well. When the new site is up, you can bet your behind I'll send you along to check it out; not only is she one of my clients, I'm one of hers and have been for quite some time now :) great stuff. 

I have to say, the highlight of the day was the 20 minutes on the couch, snuggled up, keeping nice and warm ;) Looking forward to tomorrow.

is it tomorrow yet?

It's been a while

What a great day! It felt so good to get out and wander around with my camera; the weather was great, and I think I accomplished more in one day than I have in weeks ;) I still have more to do though. It's going to be a busy night so I better get crackin' :)

oh yeah. 

Ahhh, fall ;)

I went for a drive today and I'm so glad I did; this time of year is my absolute favorite :) Today was beautifully sunny, breezy and about 60 degrees; perfect. When I say perfect I mean it, I wish everyday could be like today, when the sun warms your face but the cool breeze reminds you it's not summer anymore; a perfect day for a sweater :) It won't be long before the trees change to brilliant colors and the air carries the sound and smell of crisp leaves.

I want to get away this fall, take a couple nights and escape without the kids.. just me and my camera and maybe even this super-cool guy I know ;) maybe.

sweaters are cozy :)

Day 50

I don't know what to do with myself right now. I'm sitting comfortably in my pjs trying to write Jessness Day 50 and I'm a little sad; well not sad, but something that isn't super-great, something is missing.

The past couple of weeks I've been having a fantastic time that could just keep going on forever if you ask me and I seem to have forgotten what I was doing in the weeks and months before. I mean, I wasn't morbidly depressed, but I was busy enough doing things I love to easily forget how lonely I was. The kids were out of school for the summer, I had work to do of course and I know I was keeping busy getting ready for the North Dam Mill hanging and taking photos... AH HA!! again, that's it! I really need to take the camera out before I go nuts. If it's not raining tonight that is EXACTLY what I'm going to do :) I wish I had the freedom to just jump up and go right now! I wish I was on vacation! I wish I could just run away!

no need to freak out.. 

Enough already

After just 9 minutes of filling out court papers I'm exhausted and want to go to sleep. I'm so tired of being tired. Don't get me wrong sometimes I'm tired because I've had too much fun :) but when it comes to the extended... repetitive... infuriatingly predictable bullshit of the past year it's just. not. fun. and it sucks the life right out of me :( So 9 minutes and a couple pages later I'm yawning and craving the safety that comes with being cuddled up on the couch half asleep...

However, I find myself at the point where I need to type out this lengthy statement; I know it's going to knock the life out of me for the next 48 hours and I just don't want to do it, I just want to sleep right now.

I'm going over there to the couch, just try and stop me.

too tired to show my face... 

Walk on the ocean

I feel a little shitty that I haven't taken the camera out, I mean really out, in weeks. I've got some great shots of Mike & Molly which is super; I just need to escape in an artistic way.. and soon.. but for now I'll just have to make do with carrying the camera around with me and shooting on the fly, but that can be fun too...


it's 6 hours later and there is a quiet, calm, safety that I can't quite describe... a deep sigh of relief and a smile...

somebody told me.... 

Jess needs a nap

I could seriously do without this project today; I just want to make dinner and lay around for the rest of the night. I know I know, it sounds super-lazy, but I don't care. A documentary would be perfect.

zzzzzzz

I don't wanna

It's been a slow uneventful day so far.. I did get some work done but something's missing for sure.. I guess I'll go do some running around, orders, groceries and the like. ho hum.

... hm... believe it or not, I don't have much to say today.. I know you're shocked, it's okay, take a moment..

my kitchen is super small, usually super cluttered and apparently, today, super bright 

Screwed either way

Happy medium, it's the place to be...

Have you ever second guessed yourself so much that perhaps you missed out on something great? Or rushed blindly along only to find that you have no idea what is going on around you? Of course you can always take the time to really assess a situation, think everything is great and still end up disappointed or throw caution to the wind and discover something awesome.
Life is confusing and complicated.

Have you ever said too much, without thinking, and completely embarrassed yourself? I know I have :) I've also kept too much to myself and denied people the opportunity to know what's really happening behind the scenes (I know this is hard for some of you to believe, haha, but it's entirely true)
Either way you might just be screwed.

Too much or too little of anything isn't good for you, but sometimes, every once in a while, something is just right and you know it because it just feels right; not too much, not too little, somewhere in the middle.

I'm a big fan of the middle path, (yeah, that might be a Buddhist reference, and yes, I think Buddha is the man.. I'm not going to shave my head and join a sangha or anything, but his teachings make the most sense to me).

:D

I've got clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right; here I am, stuck in the middle with you

Window to the soul

Today was/is going to be another long one.
~Work went well, no irritating interruptions today, thank goodness.
~I changed the flat to the spare tire; of all the things I've done in my life, this was the first time I've ever changed a tire by myself. I did good :) of course now Vicky (my VW) is at the garage getting a new tire.
~The chance arose to introduce a friend to the boyfriend, all my people knowing each other makes me happy.
~This is all I have to say for now.. we all know I'll have more to say later ;)

**too much irish whiskey, typing with one eye because i can't see straight, put the man to bed and finish my blog, tons of backspacing because i'm incapacitated but not really, what a goofy picture, i will SERIOUSLY want to delete all of this tomorrow, but that is not allowed*(except I make the rules so I can do what I want here)*.. the words will stay, (some of) the typed words and the spoken...  :)

holy funny face! give me a big red nose and I'd be a clown.. that's just messed up

Let it go

It's been 15 months, that sounds long enough to get the fuck over it to me. Leave me the hell alone, leave us the hell alone. Let it go, find happiness, stop thinking about what I'm doing; I deserve to be happy, you deserve to be happy... it's never going to happen as long as you're acting this way...

On another note, anyone know where the best place is to get quality tires locally?

**thank goodness for extra doses of happy**

striped socks make me happy :) today I need all the happy I can get

Grrrrr, revised

It's time to play catch up with sleep, my couch and I could use some quality time together too, my books have been neglected; I'm tired.

*The plan today was supposed to be: work, couch, sleep, kids, dinner, couch, sleep; in that order. What happened instead? work, coffee delivery, snuggle, chat, groceries, Thai Me with my favorite guy, shopping, kids, art (I'm very happy to have made something today), pizza, revise blog... that's all there is so far... I'm seeing dishes, couch, sleep in my future :)

boy oh boy, don't I look thrilled in that photo? haha!

figures

Aggressive butterflies

What a great day so far.. the kids got off to their first day of school without a hitch.. I got to work without being interrupted by children.. and I'm enjoying the quiet for the next hour or so before they come through the door like a hurricane.. maybe I'll even take a nap :) that sounds like a plan.............

I spent most of this fine day with the dumbest look on my face, I'm sure of it. I saw people looking curiously at me while I smiled like an idiot all by myself. It was more embarrassing in the stores than it was in the car because I could be heard humming this sweet little tune and spotted every few minutes grinning like a fool at my phone; at least in the car they couldn't hear me. Today wasn't as super-fantastic as the past 11 days, but I'm still a happy camper and while there are things I'm sure I can do to stay busy for the rest of the evening, it might just suck a little ;)

Inspired by Mike (haha! sorry) a new word has been created; gaeighties. Hell yeah!

*had a few surprises this evening, none of which changed my opinion about anything*

muah!

Looking at the bright side

I woke up feeling better today than I have in almost a year, rested, refreshed, happy :) Speaking of the past year, I have something to say. Aside from all the fucktard stress, which I will be glad to never speak or think of again, I had a pretty great year. In no particular order, I finished my business degree, started pulling some income with photography, had my first gallery showing, made a New Year's resolution (declaration of independence) and did a decent job sticking with it, went out for the first time ever on St. Patrick's Day, didn't get completely bummed out when I was alone (again) for Valentines Day, I met some great people and even a pretty special guy, the guitar man, someone worth mentioning who didn't let my non-commital bull shit stop him from coming around; SO happy about that.

It hasn't been a perfect year for me or some of my friends, but everything happens for a reason so just go with it.

photo by Brian, he's pretty damned creative if I do say so myself :) That's my boy!

And I quote... myself

Do you need to provide references when you quote yourself? And what if in the quote, where I'm telling you what I said previously, I actually quoted someone else? Haha! Whatever, you all know I'm far too creative to be running around stealing words intentionally; I'll play it by ear.

I'm glad I decided to stop thinking about the fact that I was feeling quite lonely, it only made me feel more lonely. I'm glad I stopped noticing the lack of butterflies in my stomach and how my face didn't blush anymore; I'm so glad I stopped picturing myself as an old lady with no one to talk to. Thinking that way was sort of making it a reality, I was putting too much energy into what was lacking instead of enjoying life and being happy in each moment.

It seems that there are two kinds of extremes that I don't ever want to be caught in, one is the depressed, woe-is-me kind of person and the other is that woman, and to quote myself...

"I don't want to be that woman, the one who is always actively searching for the next big thing; I'm not that woman. I really believe that the harder you look for something, like love, the more likely you are to make huge mistakes about who you become involved with. On the other hand, if you just find ways to make yourself happy in other ways, everyday, your light will draw the right kind of people into your life. 


SOOO, be grateful for what you have, be present wherever you are and in all matters don't be superficial, before you know it you'll find "deep, profound, earthshaking love"."

I'm feeling great, thanks for asking :)

http://jess-workinprogress.blogspot.com/2011/08/different-kind-of-smile.html

photo by Brian

Someone worth mentioning

It's been a whirlwind of a week, a fantastic, exciting whirlwind. A week of "holy shit"s, "this is crazy"s, "whoda thunk it"s, "really?"s and "this is GREAT!!"s.

Yeah, so I'm mentioning it, ya know...

photo by Mike McCormack

Guitar man

Day 37... pajamified shirtless serenader... drinks and M&Ms... long gazes and shakey cheese

look over here

White chick

So here's the thing, it's just one thing after another that is wiping away all of my energy; nothing bad lately, I'm enjoying myself very much actually, I'm just so tired. I started noticing the exhaustion last November, it's been way. too. long. feeling like this. I just want to sleeeeeeeep but when it's time to sleep, I find other things to do.

On another note, my neighbors are having a HUGE bash tonight, a traditional celebration, that looks a lot like a bachelorette party. Dozens of beautiful women and girls, of which I only know a few; I almost don't recognize them without their hijabs (sort of like a burqa but not exactly). What a fun time!! The only problem, it's a little uncomfortable being the only white chick with a big camera in the room, haha! There isn't much English floating around the room, actually, there isn't any (unless they're talking to me)... I really wish I had hit the Arabic a bit harder over the past month ;) Doing the photography for the wedding tomorrow evening should be interesting..

blah