Be good to yourself ;)

It's a little difficult to take todays photo and *stop* be genuinely writing this at the same time; I'm confident that the *stop* word flow will be better when I'm not thinking about how much *stop* flash to use, moving the pile of junk *stop* that was on the floor next to the couch and *stop* indicating somehow when I had to get up to *stop* check the results of the shot *stop* okay, I've got it :) Next time I'll just pretend to be blogging ;)

Curtis was funny today; I had just laid down on the couch for a minute when he came home from school, so he got me his blanket and gave me a kiss. What else could I do but take a nap? It was nice, and much needed, after the past 3 days. Later when I was making dinner and he says, "My blanket has the 'mom' smell." When I turned to give him a funny look he says, "Don't say sorry Mom, you smell good. I like it." Haha! Kids! At least I know I don't smell bad.

I'm going to stop here because I want to go hop into bed and read my book.

I'm missing someones company today; chatting, genuine laughter..
..you know, things and stuff..

Laundry

I'm going to try and get this out of the way early so I don't need to do it later. Of course chances are I'll add to it this evening. I'm not sure that I really have anything to say... well perhaps nothing that will make it through the filter and into the blog anyway. .... maybe later... I should do some laundry, I didn't accomplish much this weekend.

take 5

Sunday

Today was long and tough, it's probably not going to be any easier tomorrow.
Mom is flying into Boston in the afternoon and I'm going to grab Sabrina from Portland and head back to York Hospital so she can say her goodbyes to Neena.

185

Today was long long roller coaster kind of day. I took the boys to Sanford to meet up at my (paternal) grandmothers house to see my cousins new little baby girl; she is so adorable and the tiniest baby I've ever seen. We picked up some pizza and the whole gang ate and had a great time. Things were winding down and I was snapping a few extra photos before heading back home and my mother called. My (maternal) grandmother hasn't been doing very well, I've known for a week that things weren't looking good; today things got worse. Mom is flying in on Monday. I'm too tired to keep writing about this right now. Goodnight.

I need a big teddy bear to snuggle with

Like I said

it's going to be a good night :)

told ya so ;)

Yes, I'm picky

I want my iMac back! They replaced the logic board today and it seems to be better now, but they're going to let it run video after video after video all night long and see what happens :) This tiny macbook runs better now that Cory fiddled with it, but it's still Windows and I still don't like it.. I want my 21.5 inch screen back, this 10.whatever isn't very satisfying but even with all the complaining I'm doing about it I am grateful to have something to use in the meantime.

Todays "upswing event" (aside from the good news about the Mac and I had time for a short nap) was that after being told last week that my catalytic converter needed to be replaced at a whopping "couple thousand dollars" my check engine light went out all on its own today :) I thought maybe the little tiny bulb may have blown, but no.. the light went out!! Maybe she just needed to clear her throat ;)

It feels good to be in a good mood again, it was pretty rough there for a while; nothing is perfect but things are certainly better. Love it!

have some yellow with your webcam

*Yawn*

What a beautiful day! There's nothing like a Maine cold snap of 3degrees to make you really smile at a sunny 40degree day. If the temperature holds I think it would be a good night to go for a short photo walk.

I'm going to take the boys to visit Sabrina in a little while even though she hung up on me yesterday when I called her. TEENAGERS! Sheesh! Can't win with that one.... I think I'll clean up until it's time to leave, it looks like a bomb went off in here! ;)

where are my jammies

hi!

hi folks! life is in an upswing, get ready and hang on!! no photo today, its a shame but I'm sure everyone will live :)

I smiled and sang all day...

...even though the day had its challanges...

Well I dropped the Mac off at Gorham Micro today to see if they can fix it. Three fresh-out-of-the-box iMacs in less than a month that crash within an hour of set up has not really impressed me. Of course there isn't a 30 day return policy, not even a 14 day policy.. nope, 7 days. Great.

Last Friday I picked up a netbook, again.. knowing full well that they're as slow as death and chances are I would return it as soon as the speed irritated me, not to mention working with Windows.. yuck! It's a blessing in disguise I suppose, at least I have something to pay my bills, track eBay sales (and of course blog) with for the next week or so until I pick up the Mac. Netbooks and Macs are certainly at opposite ends of the speed and multitasking spectrum.

I wouldn't even dream of putting a .raw photo from my 'real' camera in this tiny little machine, let's see what the webcam is made of, haha!



gross photo.. but great painting ;)



Ahh, the days

I'm looking forward to tomorrow; I love Mondays, Fridays aren't bad either ;) and I think I'll finish off my Sunday with a book...

... or maybe a movie in bed.

Brrrr

Hey look! It's snowing! I don't really like the snow but I'll take my camera out anyway, just in case I see something pretty :) BYE!!

I hope it's not too cold out

Blog!

Yup, that's it.. sorry to disappoint ;)
I know I don't look the part in the photo, but I'm a happy camper, haha!

Say Cheese!

Dancing laundry

There is something about sitting alone at the laundromat (I don't like this word) that I find comforting. The sounds all merge and become white noise, the heat from the drying clothes is cozy and just being an anonymous nobody lets me think for a while undisturbed.

While I was at work earlier I found myself amazed all of a sudden at the number of things I can be highly functional at, all at the same time. Flying through a pile of fresh tomatoes with a razor sharp knife while I make lists in my head of the most efficient ways to get as much done today as I can. I'm thinking of so many things at once that I'm surprised that I can recall thinking any of it at all. But I'm not only slicing, measuring, stirring, baking and mental list making, I'm also daydreaming about recent encounters-smiling like an idiot, wearing headphones and accurately singing along to entire albums, I'm planning dinner and anticipating the argument I'm going to have with Curtis about how I actually don't "make salmon all the time" and I'm figuring if I at least use my phone to write this blog while the laundry is washing and drying I might find the time/energy to not use the webcam on my computer to take my photo today ;) that's a big might

 .... Cool, Tony is here to watch things toss around in the dryer with me, haha, guess I'll work on this later!

It's strange, now that I'm home I don't really want to write.. being at the laundromat (yup, still don't like it) gave me no distractions.. well, less anyway. All those thoughts that rush through my head when I'm at work at least get me somewhere; when I'm home it's a completely unproductive thought process. Right now I can hear Brian "cleaning" his room, my mom ears detect a lazy child putting everything in the closet, in a big pile, that's not clean... my desk is a mess (as usual) and I wonder who will go to open mic tonight.. I still need to go to the store because I really want salmon tonight but will probably end up having leftover sweet potato chili from last night and the argument with Curtis will be similar to the "salmon argument"-"I know we had it last night, but I don't make it all the time" haha! I want to sell my Sigma 18-200, I never use it, I want to sell my Sigma 10-20, but Mike says I can't, I want to use the money from selling those two lenses to get an awesome new prime lens! I love prime lenses! It's no wonder I don't get anything accomplished at this desk..  

Screw it! I'm going to start hanging out at the laundromat AND I'm using the webcam to take the photo ;)

blablabla

12 hours

644am
The toaster scares my cat every morning; it's kind of silly.
I have a lot of little things to do today that are going to keep me quite busy but I hope to be able to put a little more effort than usual into the blog. I wonder, if the photo is fantastic, does that give me a good reason to not type as much? Yeah, I didn't think so.

156pm
I have about 4 minutes until a phone meeting, I'm going to use this time to make coffee instead of type ;)

442pm
I had good intentions earlier; I was going to have some coffee and clean the kitchen while taking care of the phone meeting so when it was time to make sweet potato chili there wouldn't be a huge mess in my way. Things didn't work out that way, I had the phone meeting and fell asleep.. oops

641pm
My belly is full of  chili and I see pajamification in my immediate future... wait, there's more.. the couch. and Netflix...

When it's shy vs. bold, we both win

Thoughts become things

620am
It's about time I get back on track mentally; it's time to put intention behind my thoughts and stop letting my mind linger on the not-so-great things that have been happening in the past month. Last week I posted about knowing what I want but not knowing how to get it; that's a bunch of crap, haha, I know how to get it, and I will :) Today will be better than yesterday... and tomorrow?! you just wait and see how much better tomorrow will be ;)

1119pm
Well then, if  you only knew how well that whole 'positive mental attitude' thing I was talking about this morning worked you'd be shocked! Good night :)

Day 174 if anyone was curious 

Yadda yadda

Too much of this, not enough of that...

I am the master of my domain... LOL

Funny

Isn't it funny how two days ago I take a photo of myself with my phone, that I love, and the next day it has an accident... I've got her up and running again, thank goodness, I'm only missing some contacts, it just seems like an odd coincidence.

I was expecting to sleep like a baby last night but ended up having strange dreams about computer, car and phone malfunctions, haha! Tonight will be different, I'm sure of it.

look out! I'm feeling like a smartass!!

Don't ask

I don't even want to talk about it... let's just say, my phone is down, don't bother texting or calling.

A common thread

I really haven't thought about it; what is the common thread between all of my failures. I'll spend some time on it, someday, when I have time. Who the heck knows when that will be.

oh by the way, I love my Blackberry just as much as my iMac.. what a trooper ;)

I just don't know

Hm

I'm not sure that I have anything to say today so I'm not going to think about it too much and just let my fingers dance across the keyboard. I know it sounds silly but just the snappy little sound of the keys makes me want to keep going and going... even though I have nothing to say :D

It's the same story day after day after day.. I'm busy. I'm bored. I'm laughing. I'm sad. I have too much on my plate and I crave more... anyone that knows me, knows that I don't have much room in my life for anything else, but every night I search for schools, classes, courses ANYTHING to keep my brain so busy I couldn't possibly have time for ANYTHING... NOTHING...

There is something missing.

Is it better to be overflowing and stressed, or have empty space and be bored?

Three things

... today I'm grateful for ...

my friends

sharpie pens that don't bleed through paper, and

quiet nights at home :)

I'm sorry I can't tell you what I regret, if I told you, I'd obviously have to kill you ;)

hm

Feeling snackish

It's a wonder that I get anything done at my desk; what a mess! I get tired just looking at it, maybe tomorrow I'll actually clean it off instead of just moving things from the 'to-do' pile (which is more like a paper/pen/remote control/thumb drive explosion, I think I even see chocolate in there) to the 'needs serious attention' pile (which is more like a slightly organized smear of notes and mail). Who am I kidding?! I'm not going to clean my desk, I'm going to add to the chaos ;)

I'm hungry.

Nice & Quiet

I love quiet days :)

I bummed a ride to an appointment across town this morning (because my car still isn't running) and decided to walk home; it felt good to be undisturbed for a while, just walking along. The sun kept one side of my body warm and cozy and the other side felt quite cold; the contrast made me feel alive and very aware of my body, it was nice :)

When I got home I spent the next four hours choosing my materials and making my own knotted mala. It's like a rosary but... well... okay, mala is another word for rosary I suppose; it's used in Buddhism the same way a rosary is used by Catholics, to count prayers, or in this case mantras. I know what you're thinking, and it's not "Jess is into Buddhism?" it's "Why on Earth did it take her four hours?!" I know that's what I was thinking-but let me tell you something, knotting each and every one of those little 108 bead into place  plus the three sets of three 'counter' beads takes a lot of time.

I'm going to chew on a book now before the boys come back from the library.. later gaters!

holy noise batman!

my favorite colors :)

Half the battle

I know what I want, I'm just not sure how to get it. Huh.

any suggestions?

Chillaxin'

I'm not sure what the possible message the Universe is trying to send me with all this "bad luck" I've been having over the past month, but I'm not getting it.

Maybe it's just time to slow down a bit. Kick back and relax.

cozy

Wow.

Some people I'll just never understand. We're a team people and only as strong as our weakest link.

exhausting

Great.

Yeah, it's been a great day... actually, I'm joking... funny huh?

not really funny.. I'm exhausted

Strike 1

Today was busy, productive, mostly relaxed and satisfying (except for that one panic attack).

I picked up a Black Widow hard drive dock yesterday; it's not reading my "soggy hard drive".... *my hard drive is not actually soggy anymore, that's just what I'm calling it ;)*.... The next step is to pay someone to check it out, great.

I'm going to get back to my book now.. the one I'm reading, not the one I'm writing :)

I love getting lost in books!

Day 160

I would much rather have my old iMac, with all my photos, files and bookmarks then have to start from scratch.

I'll never forget this.... *** I just had an overloaded moment of fantastic potty words, with such an insanely spastic delivery that I almost wish I hadn't deleted it*** .... but alas, I did.

new OS, new effects and animations.

this was a bitter-sweet moment

Jan 2nd

I devoured 200 pages of A Game Of Thrones today :) good times in a book coma.

Talk about lazy...

... I've been in my pajams all year ;)