Hibernation

It's too cold, I'll see you guys in the spring ;)

Shhhh!

:)

I needed a few hours to relax and wear a sombrero... so I did :) Mike wore one too, but not for very long.. John, however, wore his for hours and into the Happy Dragon too, haha!

An island

Yeah

Today could have been SO much better... it also could have been worse.

Can I sleep now? please?

Unknown

I'm awake and tired. I'm tied up but free. I'm cheerily depressed. I'm pissed off and smiling on the inside. I'm busy and bored. My body is hungry and I have no appetite. There is too much noise and it's too quiet. Things don't feel like they're working out for me, but really, most things are perfect. Good luck to anyone who tries to have a conversation with me today, haha!

I don't know what I need right now.

Getting it out of the way

If I don't do this now it probably won't get done today. So this is me getting it done.

On a seemingly random note:

Friends, don't second guess yourself or go over-the-top picking every thought and feeling apart. Second guessing yourself plants seeds of doubt, and doubt begets doubt. So you're training your body to doubt itself and that leads to searching for the reasons behind your self-doubt. Cut the shit. TRUST YOURSELF. Go with your gut (even if your gut has made mistakes in the past). Don't do it for anyone but yourself; do what's going to make you happy and great things will start to happen.

I'm going to go trust myself now.

Time?

It's just the same old story over and over.
Living my life grammatically incorrect and in pen none the less.
Scribbles, scratches, and thoughts crossed out.
Open mouth insert foot.
Time?
Different page?
My life is fucked up too.
It's just the same old story over and over again.
Living my life grammatically incorrect and in pen.... holy shit balls!

why can't I live in pencil?

Whatever.

Holy shit.

Day 89

... just a little

Had a pretty good day today.
Who would have thought that shockingly cold sheets could be so funny ;)

love... just a little

3 things

Today I'm grateful...

For my own 'stick-to-it-iveness'.. I do know what I want, I do know how to get it and while I may sometimes loose motivation, I do get back on track :)

That everything life throws at me makes me just a little stronger and never breaks me. Sometimes it feels like I'm almost broken, and I know sometimes I look broken, but I bounce back pretty quickly and..

That sometimes I'm wrong. I had just started to really believe that I didn't want to get too close to anyone; I didn't need anyone, I didn't want anyone and that was that. But in a matter of a few hours, which is like the blink of an eye when you look at the big picture, it changed. With just one touch, I knew in an instant I was wrong. Cheers to being wrong!!

super-cool-happy-love-thing

Blog then jog

Just like the title says... I actually did go for a jog the other day, in the rain no less! As soon as Curtis gets off the bus we are off; it was pretty funny this morning to hear Curtis (who is always in a huge rush to get to dads house on Friday) confirm several times that he was going jogging with mom before he goes to dads :)

Okay here he comes, we are outta here!

blog & jog, then drink & laugh... fun stuff ;)

Hey look! Another day

Take a breath and be thankful.
There is something to be grateful for everyday (even when life is throwing stressful shit at you)

yes you.. what are you grateful for today?

-vanilla +almond extract :)

Random Thoughts..


I saw TONS of pregnant women today. More than a dozen.


I bought jogging pants and stuff today, how long will it be before I actually jog? anyones guess.


Had a great lunch date.


"And my head told my heart "let love grow" but my heart told my head "this time no""


Mmmmm... cookies :)


Am I the only one who sees old, white-haired couples and thinks, "I want that"? I want to be in that place where there isn't any doubt, it doesn't matter that I'm not 20 or 30 something anymore, just two people that know everything about each other, reminds the other to take their vitamins, they changed and grew over the years and became this rock-solid team... I wonder if I'll ever be that white haired lady standing with her white haired man, decades of smiles, laughs, arguments, meals,  pinches on the ass and whatever life dishes out behind them. Anyway.


haha, it doesn't get much more random than that ;)

that reminds me... I need to take my vitamins :)

Fake it till you make it

I'm feeling very much the same as I did yesterday, kinda lonely and stuff, but I'm going to close my eyes and when I open them...

... I'll be soaking in a claw foot tub filled with hot water up to my neck, classical music is playing in another room, the Gymnopedies... most of my messy, steamy hair is tied up out of the way... a fluffy towel and soft pj's fresh out of the dryer are waiting for me and strong hands that work magic are rubbing the back of my neck... 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7DBoiyBoJ8

a girl can dream, can't she?

Something genuine

I'm having one of those I-need-a-hug days; I don't have them often because I'm pretty thick-skinned but today I want jammies, tea, blankets, hugs, good food, kisses, quiet and to be snuggled. 

oh yeah, I look super-happy... NOT

14 going on 30

Gotta love having a know-it-all teenager.

jerk.

Take 5

Well, my weekend isn't turning out to be what I had expected.. I take that back, it's turning into exactly what I thought it would end up being.. that kinda sucks but I'm going to make the best of it either way :) (right after I give myself 5 minutes to be irritated)

I think I laughed more between 2:30-4:00am today than I have in the past month, if anything might ever be perfect, that was.

I suppose since I have nothing holding me here today, I'm going to hit the town.. grab a bite and see a movie with Mike... it's anyones guess what will happen after that.

I love the weather today, windy with bright sun and dark clouds... a nice contrast :)

The upside

Today I'm really questioning why the hell I'm still doing this... it feels like a chore most days and I'm kind of sick of it. The upside of it all is that when I'm 80 I'll actually have photos of myself because aside from this blog, I hide from the camera which was the whole purpose of this anyway... soooo, I guess I'll keep going, for now, and suck it up.. you must be getting bored of my rambling on everyday too ;)

fuzzy lady wants a nap :)

Bluetoothed brain

I'm not really in the mood to write, it was a busy day and I'm tired. Wouldn't it be strange if my brain could bluetooth my thoughts right to the keyboard? I'd probably sound like a raving lunatic! Scattered bits and pieces of information, words, images, sounds; I have a hard enough time making sense of myself sometimes, I wouldn't want to subject anyone else to the unorganized, unedited, un-proofread thoughts dancing around in my melon. It would probably be quite disturbing, or absolutely hilarious. 

I'm very excited about this weekend, no matter what happens it's going to be great. <---- I left a lot of thoughts out ;) haha

Right now I'm going to clean up a little bit, take care of some last minute details that will save me tons of time tomorrow and then I'm going to read in bed.

wouldn't you like to know :)

Downtime

I love it when I'm right, today was a great day! It was great right out of the gate and got even better before I even had time to think about it. When the kids left for school I climbed back into bed for a little extra sleep and stuff, had coffee with great company, went to work, enjoyed a very tasty avocado curry at lunch with Mike and his mom (she's a funny lady); with a little running around and stretch and a yawn I'm ready for this great day to continue in a more laid back way.

I'm going to make dinner early tonight and hit the couch for the evening; I need a lazy night. Of course I say that now, but you never know what will be going on in a couple of hours ;) Maybe I'll throw a party, or go out with friends, perhaps a photo walk? YA RIGHT, I'm going to make zucchini parm, garlic bread and a big salad for dinner and fall asleep almost immediately on the couch (of course it won't be as warm and snuggly as last night, but that's okay..... I guess)

Great morning & a great afternoon.... here's to a great evening :)

nothing special

I've got  nothing... I worked, we ate, I cleaned, we drank... and stuff

yadda yadda yadda

Double dose, double photo

Today I woke up thinking, "things are good" ... so I guess that's good.

It was a beautiful day; I couldn't believe it. October 10th, 81 degrees and I went to the beach for a few hours. Going to the beach in October isn't really a huge deal for me, I go to the beach all year long, but I went in a dress so you know it was super-beautiful out!... I think I really needed that dose of ocean air and sunshine because I feel great and I'm going to sleep like a baby tonight.

keeping myself company

Yay for copper!

My friends know what it means when my eyes light up and I just about shout "Hey! I had an idea!" okay, I do shout it :)

Well guess what, I had an idea! It requires a lot of copper and this 20 feet of flexible tubing isn't going to last very long.

if you don't love me now... you'll never love me again... 

FANTASTIC

Yeah, so... this post isn't going to be anymore interesting than the last... I had a good morning, a dose of happy and great conversation over breakfast and coffee.. that's where the useless piece of human came into play, I haven't done a damned thing all day except for waste my time. FANTASTIC. Hey, I'm still smiling at least, sort of.

looking forward to next weekend.

Jeez

this is stupid and i promise to do better tomorrow

did you just throw a nasty sock at me?!
I'm COMING...jeez!!

Day 71

Blog ;)

close enough to touch you
photo by Mike McCormack

And stuff...

I had a great day overall. Caught up with a couple of buddies, one for lunch and one for drinks and I laughed my ass off for sure, there was A LOT of laughter today... it was nice, but something.. actually someone was missing... I missed my favorite guy today... period.

oh come on, you know... don't make me say it

Smoked Jessica

Okay, I'm too tired to do much writing tonight.

I was taking a nice nap earlier after starting a new book (reading + rain = nap) and Brian comes into the house yelling that there was an explosion. My first reaction was to say "Shhhh! I'm sleeping" but I didn't because I could smell smoke.. anyone who knows me knows what my second reaction was, "I hope my batteries are charged!" Needless to say, I smell a bit like a smoked piece of meat and I'm getting in the shower now (if I can pull myself away from editing)

this is smelly, rain-soaked Jessness
good thing I wasn't planning on snuggling tonight ;)

Today, in parts

Today Part I- 6:48am

I think it's a little strange that I have to go to court this morning for a Protection from Abuse against the boob. I mean really, I am supposed to show up with evidence and witnesses when in all likelihood he won't be there anyway. Why would he show up? Do people really fight PFA's? Either way, I'm going alone and I suppose I should make some coffee so I'm not showing up all yawny. (new word Mike?)

Today Part II- 1:17pm (figures)
I was shocked that he did, in fact, show up today at the courthouse, lawyer in tow; the lawyer was a nice guy, I've spoken to him before. For a few minutes I was confused, maybe he's going to fight the order? But why would he do that? All-in-all I'm glad his lawyer was there, it got rid of any mystery about what was going to happen and it made for a speedy 45 minutes in court; both parties agree to go ahead with a 2 year restraining order.

Today Part III- 7:35pm
Overall it's been a pretty slow, quiet, lonely day. I did a lot of photo editing, laundry and other odd cleaning jobs around the house. I'd like to get out of the house tonight to get a dose of hot fudge sundae, but I've done pretty well at avoiding that lately, I'll probably avoid it tonight too... maybe ;)

another take on today
jess-workinprogress.blogspot.com/2011/10/bit-of-sadness.html

Blah

It's just your average Sunday but I feel sort of blue. Not sure what's up with that.

blah

Oh the colors! (just not in MY photo)

Today was pretty busy. The Chalk on the Walk in Biddeford was a great time with colorful art and colorful people. It was nice to run into some old friends, some Facebook friends and even make new friends :) I'm glad the gloomy looking sky and intermittent rain didn't keep everyone away; it was a great turn out. Until next time, er... tomorrow.. have a great night. I'm going to bed.

oh yeah! Molly said "Jess" tonight :) that was cool